292:The Fertility Blueprint with Dr. Stephanie Gray

If you've been told you have "unexplained infertility" — Dr. Stephanie Gray says it's not unexplained. It's undiscovered. She spent 10 years uncovering 6 hidden variables that finally helped her conceive. Today she's sharing all of it, plus the faith that carried her through. 

Dr. Stephanie Gray spent a decade navigating infertility while running her own hormone clinic. In this powerful conversation, she pulls back the curtain on the six hidden variables conventional medicine missed — and how functional medicine, faith, and following her own intuition finally led to her two sons.

What You'll Hear:

• Why "unexplained infertility" is actually undiscovered infertility
• The 6 hidden variables Dr. Gray uncovered in her own fertility journey: structural issues (endometriosis, infections), toxins, stress, trauma, gut dysfunction, and blood flow disorders
• What the 100-day window is — and why it changes everything about egg and sperm quality
• Why AMH levels are not a death sentence (and how Dr. Gray has watched them change)
• The faith piece: how to pursue medicine AND trust God at the same time
• Dr. Stephanie reads the fertility prayer from her book — have tissues ready

Dr. Stephanie Gray, DNP — Founder of Integrative Health and Hormone Clinic and Your Longevity Blueprint Nutraceuticals. Triple board-certified, functional medicine trained, and the author of The Fertility Blueprint.

Resources Mentioned:

• 📖 The Fertility Blueprint → yourfertilityblueprint.com (use code FAITH for 10% off)
• 💊 Hormone Tame (antioxidant support for egg quality) → shop.fasttofaith.com (use code PODCAST for 20% off your first order)
• 🌿 Find Dr. Stephanie Gray: ihhclinic.com | instagram.com/stephaniegraydnp | youtube: Your Longevity Blueprint

Scripture for the Week: "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." — Psalm 139:13-14

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Transcript

Spring Hope And Fertility Struggles

Dr. Tabatha 0:00

We get so many women who are like, I am struggling with fertility. I don't have regular periods. I was told I have unexplained infertility, or I just need to do IVF, right? All the things.

Ashlee 0:14

Yes, yes. And this topic is super close to my heart. As you know, I've got my own brother and sister-in-law going through this right now. And so, yeah.

Dr. Tabatha 0:28

If you're tired of doing all the right things and still feeling exhausted, stuck in your body, and disconnected from God, this podcast is for you. I'm Dr. Tabitha, a triple board certified functional medicine physician, and I help women stop fighting their bodies and start healing them God's way. Let's get into it. Welcome back to the Fast of Faith podcast. How's it going, Ashley? Oh man, it is going so good. How about you? I'm excited.

Ashlee 1:04

There is sun shining outside. Everyone, I feel like when you go somewhere now, everyone's got life. Like it's coming back. It feels good.

Dr. Tabatha 1:12

Yes, I actually have plans for the day. Want to get out of bed and like move my body. I'm not struggling so much. So thank you for that, son.

Ashlee 1:22

Ramination season is over.

Dr. Tabatha 1:24

Yes, exactly. And when we think about spring, we think about rebirth. We think about things coming alive. And this episode today has been a long time coming. It's so necessary because we get so many women who are like, I am struggling with fertility. I don't have regular periods. I was told I have unexplained infertility, or I just need to do IVF, right? All the things.

Ashlee 1:53

Yes, yes. And this topic is super close to my heart. As you know, I've got my own brother and sister-in-law going through this right now. And so, yeah.

Dr. Tabatha 2:02

Yeah, I feel your emotions on that. This is a heavy episode for some people because um I think it's just in our nature that we want to reproduce, we want to leave an air, we want to have a legacy, uh, we want to have a little mini me in the world. And so our guest today is just doing incredible work in this space, and I'm so excited to have her.

Ashlee 2:29

Me too. It was just really fun to plan and look at your book, and I'm excited about it.

Meet Dr Stephanie Gray

Dr. Tabatha 2:34

Well, hello, Dr. Stephanie Gray. How are you?

SPEAKER_02 2:38

What a beautiful intro. This is a heavy topic, and it just makes me just seeing your face, Ashley, makes me want to cry because I, you know, I've been there. I've been there, but that's why I wrote this book. I prayed to God, not that you ever want to barter with God, but I said, gosh, if you bless me with another child, like I will share this message with the world. Like, people need to hear this. And so thank you for having me on the show, both of you. I'm just encouraged and excited to share my message of hope.

Dr. Tabatha 3:00

Oh my goodness, you remind me of Hannah in the Bible. She's like, Lord, just give me a son. I'll give him back to you. I promise you can have him, but I just want to have a son. And that's how we got Samuel. So this is how we got the fertility blueprint. Thank you for sending me a hard copy of this. And I am telling you, I feel so honored. I am on the first page, the first paragraph. That's amazing. I know. Look at that. So thank you. But um, I was joking that this is kind of like a medical book. It is all-encompassing, it has every answer that you're ever looking for on your fertility journey. It is so impressive. I just, girl, you blew me away when you wrote this. Um, but my favorite part is page 63, a prayer for your fertility journey. Thank you for putting it in.

SPEAKER_02 3:58

I printed that in case you wanted me to read it. Yes, yes. I mean, faith was just a crucial part of this journey. Like, you have to trust God, but you get angry at times because you wonder, like, I have a hormone clinic, you know that, right? And like I was helping other women get pregnant, yet I had all these hidden variables that I needed to uncover. I needed functional medicine to help me get to the root cause of my problems. All the while I was still seeing reproductive endocrinology. And it was a long journey. It took me 10 years to bring two little boys into this world. And I think people thought, does she not want to have children? Because I I had kids, you know, I had one at 35 and one at 40. I was kind of not a late bloomer. It just took a long time to bring those um two little ones into the world. But faith was a huge part of that. Just I had faith warriors, I had my parents praying over me. I was praying over my womb, and I knew that God had this family for us. It was just, it just took a long time coming. But I learned a lot along the way, and that's what's in this book. That's why it's so thick, because it it I had six major hidden variables that needed to be uncovered. And that's what I think a lot of women, they they just don't know what's they don't, they don't know what they don't know. And so that's what I wanted to put in this book.

Dr. Tabatha 5:03

Yeah, absolutely. And as an OBGYN, I didn't even know. So you have taught me things, you know. And I remember when you were going through a hard time during your pregnancy and you reached out and you're like, hey, what's this about? And we kind of figured it out together. But I want the women listening to know, like, you're the real deal. You have a hormone clinic in Iowa, you are functionally trained, you you know your stuff, but then to actually experience it yourself is a whole nother level. Like, you know, that is that is everything. So where do where do we even start? Is is it just giving women hope again?

SPEAKER_02 5:48

Yeah, yeah. Where do we start? I don't know.

Unexplained Infertility Is Often Undiscovered

SPEAKER_02 5:51

I mean, you talk a lot about functional medicine on your podcast, and I think that's the important part to start with because you mentioned before a lot of women are referred to IVF, and I think by the time they get to IVF, conventional medicine, your reproductive endocrinology, doesn't even care what the root cause is. They think they're just gonna bypass that root cause, right? They just don't care. They just they want the numbers, they want to transfer the embryos. Well, I had the numbers, I had the embryos, and they weren't taking. So I'm a classic example of why there's more to the story and why functional medicine is so important. I used both. I mean, I used functional medicine and conventional medicine, which we describe as integrated medicine, right? The best of all worlds combined. I needed all those tools. And so if someone's listening and they haven't been able to conceive, there is probably something uncovered that just needs to be discovered, right? I don't I don't believe in unexplained infertility, I believe it's just undiscovered. That makes sense. And functional medicine, hence this book, right, can help you discover that.

Dr. Tabatha 6:47

Yeah, absolutely. I love at the end of the book, you have uh like a checklist of like here are all the different areas that you need to ask questions and evaluate. Have I thought of this as a root cause issue? So I would love for you to just break it down for our listeners. Like, what are the major areas that you see missed most often?

SPEAKER_02 7:13

Should I share mine? My six major Yes, please. I

Hidden Variables In The Womb

SPEAKER_02 7:18

had six major, I'll say hidden variables. Um, so I'll kind of start with structural. I know you guys have talked a lot about probably on the show about endometriosis. I definitely had endometriosis. I had stage four and um I guess maybe to functional medicine's credit, because I was practicing functional medicine and I was on progesterone and lotus niltrexin and fissual and turmeric. I didn't have the horrible periods. I had gotten them under control, but some of the damage had been done. And so I did need to have surgery. So this is where I did need conventional medicine, but I did seek out some surgeons out of state who had a non-scarring, maybe you know more about this, but like a non-scarring technique because I didn't want the endometriosis to come back. And because I didn't want it to come back, I needed to abide by anti-inflammatory diet, right? I needed to get gluten and dairy out of my life. I had had gluten out of my life a long time, but I needed to get dairy out. It was almost a year exactly that I was able to conceive my first son after being dairy-free. So that was kind of a major structural issue for me. And we I talk about this in the book, and I you talked about this on the podcast when I interviewed you that, you know, you I'm not a surgeon, but you are. So, you know, you're opening up um patients to do surgery, and you are noticing that like half the time their bowels are fused to their reproductive um organs, right? So when one will say, you know, body system is inflamed, that doesn't mean the others aren't. They likely all are. And so getting again to that root cause of the problem is not just doing the surgery, but it's also changing the diet, minimizing the inflammation so it doesn't come back. Yeah. So that was a huge part of part of my story. Um, the second kind of structural component of that, um, and I think I asked you about this, although so much time has gone by. It's hard to remember, but um, but I had chorioamnionitis with my first.

Dr. Tabatha 8:59

The one that you had texted me about, yes.

SPEAKER_02 9:01

Yes.

Dr. Tabatha 9:02

And so, you know, I had so you had an infection inside the womb during the pregnancy.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

Yes, yes. And so, you know, the story to getting that first child was, you know, long. We didn't even know if we were gonna have another kid at that point. But but after having him, I thought, did you know, would having this infection uh inhibit me from conceiving again? And all the reproductive endocrinologists I talked to said, no, no, no, you're fine. People with corium neonitis get pregnant easily. Well, it could be that you had groupy strep, it could be STDs, right? If you've had an infection in there, that can inhibit embryo implantation moving forward. So if you're struggling with secondary infertility as I was, might I just I'd encourage the listeners to follow your intuition because I just felt like I had the numbers. They kept deploying these embryos and they weren't taking. And so in the back of my head, I thought, well, what if this coriomnionitis is part of the implantation failure? And so I actually asked for a uterine biopsy. I said, go up there, biopsy my tissue, like try to figure out if that's the problem. And they kind of were nonchalant and they finally like conceded to it and did it, and the biopsy was negative. And so I said, okay, I guess I'll put that hypothesis to rest, but my these embryos kept failing. And so I got to the point where I said, I had I had brown bleeding after my cycles, and brown bleeding can be a sign that there is a underlying infection. So I said, open me up, I can't keep wasting these embryos. Like, I've got to figure this out. And I'll never forget that reproductive endocrinologist came back to me and said, You were right, you were right. The upper pole of my uterus where they were deploying all those embryos with IVF was totally inflamed. I had endometritis as a result of that prior corium neonitis infection. So had I not followed my intuition, like, and and who begs for surgery? Like I was basically like, open me up, you know, figure this out. But I mean, after I there were there are a couple other variables we can get to, but after taking antibiotics to clear that infection, I got pregnant. So that was clearly a major hindering variable.

Dr. Tabatha 10:58

Yeah, I think.

SPEAKER_02 10:59

So if you've had a past infection, yes, I mean, please talk to your doctor about that.

Dr. Tabatha 11:04

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And follow your intuition. Like we are really trained to believe that the doctor knows better than us about our own body, and that's just not true. Like we actually know and we can hear from our body if we start to listen again. And and when you act on it, then you start to trust yourself again. So um super important points. Yeah, sometimes something has developed structurally that needs to be addressed with conventional medicine. We love the OBGYNs, they have their place, they're just not hormone experts, that's a whole nother topic.

Ashlee 11:44

Um, yeah, so I wanna I wanna say something. So I'm gonna say something to the listener who's listening that's not a doctor, because you guys, I feel like you have the education and probably the um, I don't know, the confidence, I guess, to say to your doctors, like, hey, this is what I want. And so there are women listening right now who are not doctors that need to advocate for themselves and like they can do this too. And that's why, Stephanie, your book is so powerful because they can find it in the book, and even if they just have to literally take your book to the doctor, but they just need to know that they they have the power as well and to be confident because they know their body better than anyone else. So I just wanted to make sure I said that because I know there's people listening, like, I I need to advocate, but I'm not a doctor, and that's okay. You can still advocate for yourself. Oh my gosh, that's a great point.

Dr. Tabatha 12:31

Just take the book to the doctor. Literally, like you have to sometimes have evidence because we can be dense in the head and think we know everything. So yeah. All right, let's go. Number three pillar.

SPEAKER_02 12:46

Um, yeah, so you want me to just keep going through some of these hidden variables that affected me?

Advocate For Tests And Detox

SPEAKER_02 12:51

Um, so you know, toxins also again, both of us talk about this on our podcast, but toxins can greatly contribute. And so, you know, back in the day, I was using Bath and Body Works and, you know, lotion and Victoria's Secret Lip Glass and wearing chlorine least, wearing whatever, using chlorine-laced tampons, right? Um, getting chemical hair straighteners, like I am totally convinced I induced my own endometriosis by a lifestyle that I had unintentionally. I didn't know, right? But I think many women now understand this, but again, I think with me the damage had been done because I had decades of that, you know, inflammation, whatnot building up. And these toxins are endocrine disruptors, which will mess with our hormones. And so just getting toxins out of our life is huge. And I don't have to spend too much time on this, but this applies to men and women. So if your partner is wearing flame-retardant underwear, you know, or you know, polyester or whatnot, like I talk a lot about this on the book, what fabrics are safe, which and which ones are not safe, and that can affect sperm count too, and it affect hormone signaling. So for men and women, you gotta get the toxins out. So that was one of the early variables that I found. And then stress and chronic nervous system dysregulation was another. So um I have a busy practice like you, and my stress was very high. And when stress is high, cortisol is high and progesterone is low. Progesterone means progestation. You've got to have progesterone to get pregnant and to stay pregnant. So I needed to lower the cortisol and raise the progesterone. That's the short end of it. But I was stuck in fight or flight and I really needed to change things, set healthy boundaries. I always say stress is your body's biggest hormone hijacker. So when you're trying to get pregnant, this is the biggest, most important time in your life to get stressed down so that your hormones can be where they need to be. Progesterone can be high. That is easier said than done. Um, but for me, really learning that I needed to get my nervous system in check, it wasn't just self-care, like it was essential to creating an internal environment where my body felt safe to conceive. So stress is another variable, which kind of leads to the next, which is trauma. So I had, I think, unresolved birth trauma. And even in functional medicine, like 10 years ago, we weren't talking about trauma. Like now we are. Now we're screening for it, but we didn't used to screen for it. And so I had a pretty devastating um two-liter um hemorrhage. And if anyone's had a hemorrhage, you know, you just kind of feel like the life is sucked out of you. Like it's very scary. I ended up having a three-liter hemorrhage with my second kid, but back to the first one. I truly believe that you know, my body was in a state of fight or flight, right? I was stressed, and I hadn't worked through that past trauma. So again, my body didn't feel it was safe to conceive or to create new, you know, God creates life, but you know, to to harbor that and grow that new life until I worked through that. So I went to a special provider who took me back to that moment and we really just kind of worked through that that traumatic experience so that I could, you know, mentally, physically just feel like I was ready to conceive again. So just something else that I, in essence, kind of checked off the list, but it was something that I really had to work through, I really believed before being able to conceive again.

Ashlee 15:56

Oh, that's speaking to us right now. We talk about trauma so much with our patients, and not just if you're trying to conceive, like if you're harboring all that trauma,

Stress Trauma And Hormone Signals

Ashlee 16:05

it's going to impact you in your healing. It really is.

SPEAKER_02 16:09

It is. And it could just be medical trauma too. I mean, just having infertility is trauma in itself. So it's just something that I I will say reproductive endocarinology never once brought up to me, right? They weren't asking about my trauma.

Dr. Tabatha 16:24

No, exactly. And I think a lot of trauma is stored in the womb, and they, you know, add to fibroid growth and other tumor abnormalities. And I don't think that most doctors put those two and two together, and then patients definitely don't. Um, I would love for you to speak more about that because what I hear often is oh, I can handle my stressful life. It's not a big deal. And so the fact that they think mentally they're handling it means it's not affecting their physiology and their fertility when in fact it absolutely is, and 95% of what you're believing and thinking is subconscious. So yeah, if you had an emergency C-section or you know, a very traumatic or amnianitis and then pre hemorrhage labor, pre-eclampsia, a hemorrhage.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

What if it was or what if what if something unfortunately happened? You just had a traumatic birth in general, something happened to your first child, you know, like that's trauma right there. I mean, you almost dying, or your child almost dying, or I mean, or you haven't even had a live birth, all you've had is miscarriages, right?

Dr. Tabatha 17:36

Miscarriage, trauma right there. Yes. Yes, it all needs to be addressed. So, where do women even start with that?

SPEAKER_02 17:44

I mean, your your body can be holding on to that memory, which then again is impacting that fertility. So it's not all in your head, it's back to that nervous system. So it's hard to explain over the computer how to correct this, but uh, you need to find someone, not just a therapist, but a trauma therapist specifically. It'd be great if you could find a birth trauma therapist. And I have some resources for that, but locally I had to go to someone who could take me back to that moment and talk me through. And I actually read a lot of, I should have written these down, but a lot of great affirmations also. Just honestly telling my subconscious, you can do this. It is safe to conceive. You know, this this um what happened before is not gonna repeat itself. It seemed almost silly at the time, but I think it is essential because your body will hang on to what happened. Your body wants to protect you. So you've got to convince your mind and your body that it's uh safe to proceed. Absolutely. I'm not a trauma therapist, but you gotta find someone who can work you through that.

Dr. Tabatha 18:41

Yeah, I mean, locally we have someone who is a somatic therapist and she focuses on birth trauma and um finding that that blockage in your body and helping you work through it. So there it's amazing. There's experts everywhere, small towns, big towns. You just have to know what to search for, and that's why I love your book because you're like, here's what you even where you even need to start. You know what I mean? Some women are just they don't know. I definitely didn't know. So oh my goodness. And now you have a two-year-old, right?

SPEAKER_02 19:17

So I got I do, I got can I tell the last one really quick? Because this is really important. There's one more, one more hindering variable. Sorry, this was crucial for me, and then I'd love to talk about Michael, but okay, so the sixth hidden variable for me, which I talk about a lot more of these in the book, though, was blood flow problems.

Clotting Risks And Blood Flow

SPEAKER_02 19:32

So if you've had an autoimmune disease or if you have family history of autoimmune disease, if you've had an elevated ANA, right, there's a chance you could have antiphospholipid syndrome. And so I, again, because of repeated implantation failure, you know, I knew something was wrong here. Like, why am I not getting pregnant? And I did have an early loss. So if you've had repeated miscarriages back to the miscarriage, there's a reason why you're having the miscarriage. I had MTHFR variants, and there are a lot of other if you're working with a functional medicine practitioner, they can test you for other genetic variants that can increase risk of clotting disorders. So I had tested myself for antiphospholipid syndrome, and I was shocked when my results came back positive. I thought, oh my gosh. So I didn't meet the full criteria for that condition because I hadn't had a miscarriage or a clot after 10 weeks, but I had enough, um, we'll say positive findings that I was put on blood thinners. And so I do think that helped as well, right? So I was already building a strong functional medicine foundation, getting my stress under control, inflammation down. Um, I did take the antibiotics, there's a time and place for that, and I got on blood thinners and I got pregnant. So that's just another. I wish reproductive endocrinology would have looked that way at the beginning, but they didn't. It wasn't until the very end, right? Um, but that's also something that could be a hidden variable. So if you have that personal or family history of autoimmune disease, or if you've had clots or miscarriage, request these labs because I've I find them on patients. I mean, they're yeah, labs exist for a reason. Right. That was another last hidden variable. I just wanted to make sure I I got a plug for that.

Dr. Tabatha 21:05

That was super important because you know, I haven't practiced obstetrics for about five years now, but previously it was always you had to have three miscarriages before we did that blood clotting disorder workup. You know, insurance isn't gonna cover antiphospholipid and factor five light and all of these um more advanced blood work tests. And so yeah, yeah, yeah, advocate for yourself. That's super important because why would we make women go through three miscarriages? Like that's just wrong. Trauma. That's trauma, that's trauma right there. Yeah. Oh my goodness. So that's super important. Thank you. Wow.

The 100 Day Fertility Window

Ashlee 21:52

All right, Stephanie, you talk about um something in your fertility blueprint book that I wish every woman and man would hear, and it's the 100-day window. So can you tell us a little bit about what the 100-day window is?

SPEAKER_02 22:04

Yes. So eggs take 100 days to mature, and sperm takes 74 days. So you have the ability right now, right, if you change your lifestyle and nutrition to affect the eggs you're going to ovulate or the sperm, right? Um, three months later. So for instance, even with even if you are going through IVF, let's say you had um poor egg quality, you didn't get a lot of euploid embryos, whatnot, you have the power through nutrition lifestyle changes, right, to impact the quality of those eggs. You have three months at a hundred-day window to really improve that quality. There's so many things that you can do, like I already mentioned stress reduction, environmental cleanup, whatnot, addressing all those root causes. But one thing that made a big difference for me was antioxidants. There is significant research on antioxidants improving egg quality. CoQ10, PQQ, Nacetylcysteine, alpha lipoic acid, I mean, there's lots of one. They're all mentioned in the book. Protocols are all in the book for men and women. So back to miscarriage too. If you're having miscarriages, it could just be that that that embryo wasn't chromosomally normal. And so you have it, you know, at least 100 days, but you can certainly, I have some patients who will plan six months ahead, right, to really improve the egg and the sperm quality so that they can conceive naturally, or that so by the time they do IVF, they're gonna have odds swung in their favor because they've been really working on this. So even if you've gone through IVF, I've I have a lot of patients who have gone through IVF and they just they didn't get the numbers that they needed. That's okay. We'll try again, but we're gonna prepare ahead of time. A lot of times, um, back to reproductive endocrinology, which I don't mean to poo-poo them. I needed them big time, but they'll just say next cycle, next cycle, next cycle. No, pause. Let's pause, let's look at the numbers. You know, every single bit of information is helpful, right? If the numbers weren't good, what can we do to change those? You have that very powerful three-month window.

Dr. Tabatha 23:53

So oh my gosh, I love that so much. I just want to say for anybody listening, like, take 30 seconds and go to shop.fastafate.com and get hormone tame because it literally has half the stuff in there that Stephanie just listed off. Like your ovaries are full of mitochondria. Those little batteries, those powerhouses trying to like do functions, make energy, they need ingredients, ladies. So get that hormone tame, get the alpha lipoic acid and all the antioxidants and your micro minerals and your B vitamins and everything. Like, wouldn't you say, Stephanie, that at this point everybody needs foundational supplementation?

SPEAKER_02 24:41

100%. And if you're thinking of conceiving, just start the antioxidants now. Just yeah, start them now. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Even if you're not trying to conceive, you need antioxidants, but right?

Dr. Tabatha 24:51

Like you don't want to be getting cancer and other things. Let's talk about fish oil. Do you feel like some women can get away with um not doing the clotting workup because they're on high doses of fish oil, or were you already on fish oil and you still had that issue? I was.

SPEAKER_02 25:12

I was on fish oil and aspirin, and I still needed Lovinox. So I do think some people can get by with high dose fish oil for sure. I would prefer, very much have preferred to not take Lovinox. But at that point, it had been, I mean, you're like you said, my son's almost two. So this was a journey that was years ago, right? And it's hard to like reflect back. But I remember in that moment, you're just so desperate. I had been through so much. I'd had so many surgeries, I'd gone through Ivy. I mean, I had six embryo transfers fail, eight IUIs. Like I had gone through a lot. So at that point, I was like, yes, I will take the blend that. Like, I will do whatever I need to bring a baby into this world. But I do think, I don't think everybody needs the blend that's. Okay.

Dr. Tabatha 25:53

Thank you for that. I think that's really helpful. Um, yeah, so I feel like I'm overwhelmed and I'm not even on this journey. Um, there's just so much that I didn't learn as an OBGYN that the reproductive, the REIs don't talk about to the patients. And I really do feel like it's just this jump to get on the assembly line with IVF. You know, the first question is, how long has it been? Is it been six months? Are you over 40? Are you over 35? Is it been a year? And like they just send you down the chute. So, what would you recommend women do before they even go have that appointment if they haven't gone down that route route yet?

AMH Myths And Mold Toxins

SPEAKER_02 26:40

Yeah, just because you're 40 doesn't mean you need IVF. Let me be very clear about that. I talk about a lot of cases in my book. Um, one patient I was seeing, you know, she had had a miscarriage. She was, I forget, 42 or 43 at the time. And we I ran her through the regular functional medicine protocol. We did nutritional analysis testing, you know, food sensitivity testing, got her on progesterone, optimized her thyroid, like all the what we consider basic stuff, I guess, but stuff that conventional medicine isn't offering. And we both got pregnant about the same time, which is so cool because we're in our 40s and we had these babies a week apart. And so it it is very, very possible. I already forgot the question. I think you're asking, what do you do? You don't jump to IVF, find a functional medicine provider who can do this workup because we can optimize your status and hopefully prevent the need for more advanced, you know, reproductive services.

Dr. Tabatha 27:28

Absolutely. I used to do case reviews for a functional medicine fertility clinic. And I kid you not, nine times out of ten, they would do the root-cause healing, and these women would turn things around and get pregnant. And one of the things that they would really focus on coming in and would trip them up and and cause them to not have hope and want to run to IVF is the AMH. So can you talk a little bit about that? Because they're just fixated on, like, uh, you know, my AMH level isn't great, and my doctor says there's no no chance.

SPEAKER_02 28:09

Yeah, so AMH, antimalarian hormone, however we pronounce that, is a marker of egg quality, egg reserve, whatnot. And so, you know, supposedly it's unchangeable. That's a lie.

Dr. Tabatha 28:20

That's a lie. I've seen it change a hundred times.

SPEAKER_02 28:23

Yeah, I mean, just like I've seen patients in premature ovarian failure, literally, who come to me for HRT, but they want to have a baby, and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. If you're wanting to have a baby, let's fix the premature ovarian failure, not put you on HRT, let's get you pregnant. We'll go well when you get through menopause later, we'll um we'll conquer that. But I mean, I would say don't ever give up hope because like so the sorry I'm diverting to premature ovarian failure, but kind of similar.

Dr. Tabatha 28:49

No, it's it's absolutely the same thing.

SPEAKER_02 28:52

The the case example in the book was uh she had mold toxicity and her hormones with mold, your hormones so back to toxicity impacting. I was more talking, I guess, about personal care products that can affect fertility, but there's so many environmental toxins. I live in Iowa, right? Glyphosate, atrazine, like we have high cancer rates. I mean, there's spraying chemicals all over, like that it's a hot topic right now in Iowa. Um, but there are other environmental toxins like that, like those, and mold that can impact your hormones. Some can cause hormones to go high, others low. And in this particular case, she literally had premature ovarian failure. All her hormones were low. We it took a while, we detoxed her from mold, but her hormones bounced back. So she went from looking like she was menopausal to she got pregnant, also around 40, late 30s. Yeah. So it's possible. Just because you have a lab come back discouraging, I hello, there's, you know, like you said, 400 pages in this book here that can help you correct the AMH or correct the low hormones, whatnot. Just don't give up hope. Oh my

Faith Guided Choices About IVF

SPEAKER_02 29:54

gosh.

Ashlee 29:54

I have a question that is it keeps coming, so it's gotta be the Holy Spirit telling me to ask you this. So something that we haven't quite addressed is the faith piece and how your faith played a role in your journey. So I think you need to speak on that. I don't know why, it just keeps coming up in my head.

SPEAKER_02 30:11

Yeah, well, I talk a lot about this in the book because this was really, really, it was really hard for me to pursue IVF because as a Christian, you know, I thought I never well, A, I never thought I would have even been had to go down this route. I thought I have a hormone clinic, but like I know how to manage myself, I'm gonna get pregnant right off the bat. And I and I didn't. And so I think I have to bring IVF into this conversation of faith because I think God does lead us, He give either gives us peace that, you know, the at the end of the day, maybe not everybody, maybe his plan for everyone isn't to have a biological child. Maybe it's adoption. There's different paths for everyone. And so I think, you know, we really need to listen, like you said, to the Holy Spirit and know like what is God's calling for me? Do I need to be asking these questions? Do I need to see reproductive endocrinology? Do I need to see functional medicine? Like, what path do I need to go down? But for me, um, from the very beginning, again, I am very lucky that I just had faith warriors, prayer warriors speaking life over me. And my mother is just incredible and she never gave up. I mean, she and I both just believed that God had another child for me and it was gonna happen. But it was a very long journey and I did get discouraged. But back to Hannah, Tabitha, like you were saying in the Bible, I I have a whole section on women in the Bible in the book. Like infertility dates back to you know the beginning of time. Even back then, women were struggling with this. But I I don't know if all your listeners have faith, but I don't know how I would have gotten through this without faith. I mean, that's what sustained me. Um, and again, like the prayer that's in the the the book, which we can certainly read at the end if you want. Um it's so important to just speak life over your uterus and just believe that God has a family, however it comes to be, you know, for you. But bringing IVF into the conversation, um, I, you know, I didn't know, like, is this something that I would support that I would do for myself or not? And and kind of I prayed, my husband and I prayed for a long time, you know, before we went down that route. But the way I saw IVF was only God creates life, right? So, yes, I'm pursuing more aggressive technology, but I saw that as tools that he had given providers to help me with. It's kind of like the story of the man on the boat. I don't know how the story goes, but you know, like the man sitting on the boat and people keep coming in the middle of the water and people keep coming by offering to help him.

Dr. Tabatha 32:31

And he keeps sending them to him. Yes.

unknown 32:34

Right.

SPEAKER_02 32:34

But God keeps sending him people to help him, and he's not seeing that as help. Like that's how I saw IVF. You know, if I had cancer and needed chemotherapy, or if I was diabetic and needed insulin, you know, I I just felt like, okay, I have infertility, I need some additional help here. I'm okay with that. That is a tool that God has amazing technology, God has, you know, provided for me. And that's how I was at peace with this. You know, I guess I was using, of course, both functional medicine and conventional medicine, but I I did have a piece of, and I know I have some friends who you didn't proceed with IVF. They just didn't feel like that was right for them. And that's that's totally fine. But I think that's between you and God to really decide like what path he has for you. And uh now I can reflect reflect back years later saying, clearly that was part of my journey, so I could write this book and share this with the world, right? Um, but I don't know if that answers your question. I don't I just don't have to. It did. Yeah. Yeah.

Dr. Tabatha 33:24

I mean, that's just the truth of it. It, you know, if you are trusting that God is making a way and he's using everything for your good and his glory, like you just have to trust him and you have to have that conversation because IVF might be right for you, but not for someone else. That's a personal decision between you and God. So I I really am glad that you said that. And I just want to say, like, if you're hearing all of this conversation and you're thinking, I don't know where to start, I would say just start asking different questions. Stop asking, like, what's wrong with me, and say, like, what have I missed, you know? And that's where you can dive into the book with curiosity and take some of the shame away and some of the guilt, because I'm sure that um a lot of women feel that, you know. I know I do in my health journey, and I hear that from women struggling with fertility. So we just have to let all of that go and start to be kind to ourselves and trust that God is making a way for us. So I would love for you to read your prayer that you put in the book because it's so powerful.

Ashlee 34:37

Yeah, I also want to say, too, about prayer. You mentioned it several times and prayer warriors, like be in community, like don't try to go through this by yourself. Like, ask for prayer.

SPEAKER_02 34:48

And when you can't, I mean, there were times where I was just mad at God. I was just frustrated, like, what else? I mean, my husband literally was like, I don't know anyone else who had would go through this much to bring a child into the world. Like, when are we giving up? Like, when and when I couldn't, I say that to say, like, I did get discouraged. I don't want this to seem like this was some beautiful, easy journey. This was hard as heck. Like, but when I couldn't pray for myself, like you're saying, pull in that community, whether it's your community group from church or your parents or whatever, that's when I leaned on others to pray for me when I couldn't do it myself. Yeah. So it that that's okay. And if you feel shameful, like I I totally felt that. I feel like a hypocrite because I was helping others get pregnant and I couldn't get pregnant. So I was thinking, what's wrong with me? But I needed to reframe that. I'm not a failure. Yeah, I just God just had a different plan over my life. And that this book, right?

Dr. Tabatha 35:36

Like you birthed two things. You birthed your son and this book. And so that's why it was so painful and trying. Absolutely. That's why God put you through all that for this book and for all the women that you're gonna see.

Ashlee 35:48

No, I just didn't see it then.

SPEAKER_02 35:50

Yeah, but I I also want to say faith and science aren't opposites. Back to like what you were saying. Like, you know, we need medicine, we need faith too. It you don't have to just go one way or the other, like we need both. So, yeah, I just wanted to conclude on that. But I'm happy to read read that prayer. And if you're trying to conceive, I'm gonna read this saying I, but you know, get the book, you can read it. I didn't change the the verbiage here, so I'm just gonna read this as is in the book, and then you can certainly get in and read it over your life too. So I'm gonna read it.

Dr. Tabatha 36:21

Yeah.

A Prayer For Your Journey

SPEAKER_02 36:23

Dear Heavenly Father, creator of all life, I come before you with both my hopes and my heartaches on this fertility journey. You formed each of us with intricate care, knitting us together in our mother's wombs and I trust that you see and know every cell of my body and every longing of my heart. Lord, I ask for your healing touch on my body. Where there's imbalance, bring harmony, where there's inflammation, bring peace. Where there's dysfunction, restore your perfect design. Let every system work as you intended, from the deepest cellular processes to the complex dance of hormones that sustains life. Grant wisdom to my health care providers, guide their minds to see beyond symptoms to root causes, direct my path to the right treatments, interventions, and supportive care. When I face decisions, illuminate the way that leads to wholeness in life. Father, strengthen me emotionally for this journey. On days where disappointment weighs heavy, be my comfort. When anxiety rises, be my peace. When waiting seems endless, be my patience. Help me remain present in each day rather than losing today's blessings to tomorrow's worries. I pray for my relationship with my partner or spouse, that this journey would bring us closer rather than pulling us apart. Help us communicate with honesty and tenderness, supporting each other through every high and every low. Lord, I surrender my timeline to you, trusting that your perfect timing that your timing is perfect, even when I don't understand. I release my grip on control, knowing that while I can take steps forward towards healing, ultimately new life comes from you alone. If it's your will, bless us with a child. Prepare our home, our hearts, and our bodies to nurture new life. And if our path to parenthood looks different than we imagined, give us the courage and clarity to follow where you lead. Thank you for walking alongside me through every test, treatment, hope, and heartbreak. Thank you for your promise to work all things together for good for those who love you. I choose to trust you today with both my fertility and my future. In your holy name I pray. Amen.

Dr. Tabatha 38:10

Amen. I love it. So good. Yeah. So good. Wow. So I want to say to everyone listening, we always encourage them to meditate on one scripture for the day and even the week. And when I read that prayer last night, I just thought of Psalm 139, 13 and 14. For you created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. So meditate on that this week, ladies, and go out, get your fertility blueprint, get to work. Um, you don't have to struggle anymore. Like you just need to hop on this other path, you know, and get some answers to your root cause issues. We need to dig deeper and trust that God is making our paths straight and bringing us the resources. So thank you so much, Stephanie.

SPEAKER_02 39:21

Well, thank you

Book Bonuses And How To Share

SPEAKER_02 39:22

for having me on. I do want to tell the listeners there, I do have a bunch of great book bonuses. Yeah, let's see. The prayer, there's a lab guide, essentially of all you know, testing resources you can take to your doctor, what you should have run. There's a fertility supplement protocol. Sorry, I keep losing my voice. Um, renovation timeline planner, the checklist you mentioned, anti-inflammatory um fertility meal plan. So if you get the book and you go to your fertilityblueprint.com, just put in your order number and you get all those downloads very quickly. And I also have a code. We didn't talk about this ahead of time, but yeah, use code, use code FAITH for 10% off. Um, the book is at your longevityblueprint.com, but you can find it by going to your fertility blueprint, it'll redirect you there. So, yes, just for the listeners, do not give up hope. Do not give up hope. Just know that persistence matters more than perfection. Again, faith and science aren't opposites. Every setback is going to teach you something, and the journey is going to change you in ways that the destination never could. So hang in there. Know that wellness is waiting, and so is your family.

Dr. Tabatha 40:25

Oh my gosh, what a good episode. Are you okay, Ashley? Yeah, I'm okay. I I want to hear from you really quick. I know we're supposed to close, but I'm okay. I'm okay. Okay. I I think that you represent millions of women and their families, you know, even though it's not happening to you, you feel for your loved ones. And um God is so good. Yeah, He just really is. Yeah, like Stephanie, you are an incredible blessing. Thank you for birthing this because um it's going to heal so many women, just countless women. It just blows my mind. And this is very much the son that you're giving back to the temple to do God's work. Like all I can see right now is Samuel as this book. So now I'm gonna cry. Okay. Thank you, girl.

SPEAKER_02 41:20

If you're listening, share this with someone, just like Ashley knows someone who's struggling. Even if you're not struggling, I mean, one in six couples struggle. So please, yeah, the only way we're gonna get this message out is to share it. So thank you for bringing me on today to have the opportunity to share this. Appreciate your feedback. Thank you for endorsing the book. Yes, yes, God bless.

Dr. Tabatha 41:38

Awesome, ladies. Go be Christ hands to serve. Share this with every woman you know who needs this message today. Bye, ladies.

Subscribe Review And Five Day Challenge

Dr. Tabatha 41:50

If you like that episode, I have one favor to ask, maybe two. Can you hit subscribe and give me a heart? I want Apple to know that this is important information to you because when we tell them that, you will get more of it. So use your voice. Hit subscribe, hit the like button, share with a friend. And the other thing, I want you to download the five day challenge and get started on it. Take imperfect action. I will see you in the Fast of Faith Sisterhood. Till next time.